And Now What?

I've begun thinking about what I would do when we spend a longer term in one location here in Thailand. Right now I'm imagining October, November, December and January in Pai, then a month or more at TWL Beach and/or Cha Am, and finally a month or so at Sherabling in April. I don't know if this will fit into our visa requirements, but assuming we could make that work, this schedule now is starting to make more sense to me. This would be 7 months away from the US. We'd see my mom at the beginning – late September, say – and at the end – late April, say - of our time away.(Nancy and I are already experiencing conflicting needs regarding this version of our schedule. She wants to be in Sherabling during parts of next October and November for teachings from Situ Rimpoche, while I'm wanting to be in Pai. We shall see.)

So the question of how to be of service has arisen for me, and really for us. How to make a contribution while “living abroad”, as Heather, Nancy's astrological consultant, has characterized our time. Now that we've explored, and discovered places that we would want to be longer term, and gotten ourselves acclimated to Thailand, so that not every breath and every action is a consuming adventure that occupies us considerably, how can I spend meaningful time other than planning where to eat our meals, for example.

If I'm retiring as a therapist, at least in the US, at least as I've known it, would I want to provide some kind of related service to people in Thailand? Expats in Pai? Would there be any need for this service? (Clearly there is always the need; but would there be any demand?)

What are my gifts and talents that would lend themselves both to serving others in some way of alleviating some suffering, and serving myself with meaningful engagement?

These are questions about what to do when you live somewhere, and are not just traveling and passing through. Given who I am and how I operate, not the networker that Nancy is for example, how can this question take shape and be answered gracefully? What will God lead me to? That's the real question here. So having begun asking the question, almost immediately....................

we keep meeting wonderful people. Last night I met Glen, a black French man, I think, married to a Thai woman who sells “burritos” and lasagnas on the walking street each nite, and father of two adorable small children, and, as it turns out, a pretty skilled and educated jazz guitarist. When I walked up to Glen's wife's cart last night to order a vegetarian burrito, I saw Glen behind the cart, and he saw me, and he got up and said to me: Do I know you from somewhere? I don't know, I said, and he said, maybe from around here, on the street, and I said maybe so. An entirely unexpected and brief encounter, and we each went on with our business. Later that evenning, after checking out some live music at one of the many bars in Pai, with Kelly and Nancy and David Kinschie, a very old friend of Nancy's from the Seventies, and leaving because I didn't care for what was being offered, I walked back up the street to where I had seen Glen noodling on an acoustic guitar a few minutes before, and had liked what I'd heard, and he was still at it, as I'd hoped he would be. I stopped and asked if he would mind if I listened, and of course we got to talking, and eventually he asked if I played, and I told him I was a percussionist, and that my foundation in drumming was jazz, and this caught his surprised attention. We talked a bit more, and he told me about an open mike on Sunday nights at Over Hear, and that there was a drum kit there, and I thought that would be great fun, and he asked me if I was “ok with something like this” and riffed off into a fast swinging little set of changes and I began beat boxing the rhythm to his guitar, and we swung for a few minutes that way, and we were both smiling broadly and clearly enjoying the exchange. Today I saw him again as he passed by on his motorbike with his guitar case slung across his back, and we exchanged waves and peace signs.

Today, at Pai Laguna, we met Rakaia and Chris, two thirty somethings just here from India for some R and R. These two grew up together in Utah, and are best friends today. Chris is a photographer and film maker, and his current project, over the last two years in India and Nepal, is an independent documentary film about human trafficking. Very heavy stuff, and he's in the dangerous trenches with it, pretty much on his own, and is of course being effected by it with secondary trauma and ptsd. Rakaia is his support person and sometime traveling companion, and is a body worker, energy healer and photographer as well. They landed at Pai Laguna the night before, spent, in need of a quiet place to regroup emotionally and physically. As it turned out though, it's too cold here for Chris, which has been triggering some trauma reactions, and he has already left for warmer Thai climes and a piece of photography work to make some needed money. 

Nancy and I were just sitting out on the wonderful patio/hanging/dining area next to one of the two ponds, warming ourselves in the morning sun, and Chris and Rakaia were sitting at a nearby table doing the same. Of course soon enough we got to talking, and Chris at first reluctantly began sharing his experience of the past two years. Reluctantly because he knows that this kind of sharing can easily be trumatizing to others, and because not too many people would want to hear about it anyway. Once he learned that Nancy and I work with trauma professionally, the exchange deepened, and between that morning and the next, when we saw them again, he was sharing an idea that he's had for a long while about starting an NGO to work with the survivors of trafficking sex slavery, and offering Nancy and I an opportunity to be a part of this. (Chris said he's worked already with over 50 NGO's in India, and that some of what he's seen in the way of “therapy” has often been re-traumatizing for the victims. He's seen, he said, a lot of what works and a lot of what doesn't, and he wants to start his NGO to build on what does. ) This was based on the almost instant connection and spiritual bond that we'd formed in a couple of hours time, and his deep respect for Nancy and I and how we approach our work. 

We were both blown away by this suggestion and offer. Overwhelmed, really. Both by the thought of what this could involve professionally, and by the level of personal connection implied by the overture itself. Of course, nothing is decided; only the idea has been presented. We're in no hurry to think about what this might mean, except to acknowledge it as an opening into something related to the new kind of questioning I'm doing. Nancy for her part has been worrying about how and where she will get to do her Flower Essence work, her calling and her love, if we aren't in the States, or don't have a permanent home. And this possibility presents itself "out of the blue". Just an affirmation that we don't really need to be worrying about the how or the where, or even the what, but to continue to stay open to what is coming to us freely. 

Another level of our experience is being deeply heartened by some of the twenty and thirty-something's we've met who are “carrying the torch” as we're putting it, of what we and many others were involved with starting in the Sixties or Seventies. The old “hippy” values of peace and love, of service, of creating a new world based on a deeper experiential spirituality, are being lived and extended by new generations of people with similar sensibilities. We don't always get to see this, and I think we sometimes lose sight of what is happening amidst all the horror that we can encounter everywhere through the media propaganda designed to serve the 1%, if you like. People who have the courage to challenge power; to live lives of commitment to truth and mutual respect and wellbeing. People not afraid to make personal sacrifices in the service of their larger human family. Wow. This is a deeply emotional and heart warming experience for us.

                                                                                                               

We are questioning what our new roles as elders will be in this next stage of our lives. What “work” will we do to contribute to the ongoing and greater individual and planetary healing? How will we share our own hard earned wisdom, insight, understanding, humanity, devotion and dedication? What is it exactly that we have to offer, and how best to offer it? For Nancy and me, there have always come points in our joint lives when we have had to ask: And now what? We've done this, and we've done that, and it's been wonderful and blessed and creative and meaningful. And then it's over, in some real sense. Another stage arises, another time with another agenda required. And now what? We're in the process of discovering what this answer will be, and are feeling so blessed and privileged and honored to be able to live the questions, and to receive what is next in store, un-imagined, unexpected, unplanned, for us. For this adventure too, we're.......................leaving it open.

Shekina Garden

We'd heard about some kind of fundraiser taking place in town, for some people who wanted to go to Greece to work, somehow, with Syrian refugees there. It was supposed to happen, Nancy was told by Yada, on Saturday night, the day after our return from Chiang Mai. But as we were wondering around town, having had dinner at The Good Life and then walking up one of the walking streets past the carts and shops and vendors and food sellers, Nancy saw a little flyer that informed us that this fundraiser was instead tonight, Friday, and was set to begin in a few minutes at 7PM. Where was it? Shekina Garden? What and where is that? Well, the backside of the handout was, naturally, a map of downtown Pai showing exactly where it was along the other side of the Pai River across a rickety little bamboo walking bridge. We decided to walk the short distance and check it out. Shekina Garden, after all, had its own attraction and mysterious appeal.

Over the bridge and down a little dirt lane and there it was. People gathering slowly, “on hippy time” as it was put, to support Brian and Katie Ernst, a young couple who had found their way to Pai to recover from some serious illnesses contracted in Kenya while there serving their non profit Journey4YOUth, which provides ground level support for orphans, widows, and families in a small village, through micro loans, rain water catchment projects, school uniforms and fees, free lunches and other means of “standing beside” the people in what they envision for themselves. When not volunteering in Kenya – they take no money from their non profit for themselves – they live and travel in a converted school bus run on waste vegetable oil with Brian as a professional touring musician, by which means they support themselves and their projects. Very inspiring young people, themselves inspired by their Christian faith and bhakti devotion to Jesus and his teachings and example, as they understand it.

Kids, families, dread locked hair, community, a bunch of Aussie's moved to Pai from Varanasi, India, where they had had a “Jesus devotional ashram” for eight years, as Brendan, one of the male figures put it. Twenty and thirty something's, doing some great heart motivated, faith based, devotional service work in the world, and on this night they were sponsoring this fundraiser for Brian and Katie to support their next calling to head to Greece and offer words of comfort, and concrete items of support – blankets, food, water, clothing, whatever – to those one to three thousand refugees per day arriving on the island of Lesbos, with nothing, in need of everything, in what is now the most massive migration of displaced people since the Second World War.

So we hung with these folks, listened to open mike music and poetry by some extremely gifted people as it turned out, and then a mini concert by Brian, who uses looping technology to create a one man band effect of multi layered hip rap reggae-ish rhythm based music, “a white Michael Franti”, as Nancy called him. What a serendipitous treat for us. 

A Peace Of Pai, And Then Chiang Mai, And Then Another Peace Of Pai!

We arrived in Pai on January 4 for our one month stay, and were happy to get back, and out of Chiang Mai. One way to explain Pai is to imagine being put into a time machine and being beamed back to 1970's Santa Cruz or Boulder, or maybe even Santa Fe. At least this is true right now, during the high season, when the streets are filled with 20-something backpackers, riding unfamiliar motorbikes, hanging out at any of the plethora of restaurants and cafes and open mike and art venues, looking, except for what would have more likely been much longer hair, like the rainbow hippies of yesteryear. It feels both refreshing and anachronistic. There's something both familiar and out of place about it. One wouldn't have to know they were in Thailand if one didn't want to pay too close attention to the native language. The music being played in the cafes is 70's American folk and folk rock, mostly by solo acoustic guitarist singers, some of them quite good. The vibe is peace and love and chai and health food, if you want that, or not if you don't. A lot of the clothing is the kind of flowing shapeless colorful fabric you'd have seen back in the day, when it isn't culturally insensitive short shorts or mini mini skirts or bare chests (men). Tatoos are unisexually abundant, unlike the 70's that I knew anyway.

I asked the Thai owner, Otto, of one of the favorite art cafe, open mike, spoken word haunts if there was any kirtan in Pai, and he smiled wanly uttering a drawn out and melodic Thai “no” quietly. When I went up to the counter to pay my bill, Otto asked me if I did kirtan, and I told him I played drums with a kirtan band in America. He offered that there used to be some kirtan, but not any more.

Almost immediately Nancy met our neighbor at the Pai Laguna Resort/Hotel, Kelly, a transitioning 40-something who has lived in Chiang Rai in northern Thailand for a year, and is supposed to be studying, online, to get certified as a Montessori teacher, which she will then do in Chiang Rai, or not. Transitioning because she doesn't really want to do this, but has signed a one year lease on an apartment, and isn't into the required studies, and probably will do it anyway because she doesn't yet have the inner fortitude to follow her heart. But that's not all. She spent two years at Rocky Mountain Dharma Center, in Colorado (where she's from) being neighbors with Nancy's nephew Adam, and spent a couple of hours driving Nancy's brother Bakes to the airport at one point, having what she says was a great conversation. Now who could have orchestrated this meeting? 

Then there's Yada, from Vermont, a 60-something also in transition, on the prowl for a “community” to which she could attach herself, anticipating her aging years, and maybe goosing her spirituality in the process. We met her through young Vandad, a 30-something Iranian Canadian, involved in business and social service related to feeding public school children healthy food, for free, funded by the company he's involved with and sanctioned by the school district, while the company is involved in importing high quality coconuts from Thailand, and marketing pure coconut milk unlike any other, and maybe other stuff that I don't remember. A strict vegan for not only health reasons but for planetary survival reasons, he is ethically committed to sustainable living and planetary health, and this includes, particularly, an understanding of the singular, and unmatched damage done by the world's livestock/meat raising industry. An inspiring example of what some of the younger generation is up to.

 So hanging with Kelly and Yada has become a past life family reunion, and both of them are struggling in different ways with leaving Pai – think of how some people arrive in Santa Fe and just can't seem to leave - since they are feeling so mysteriously at home there, and aren't sure what they are to do next. For Nancy and me, leaving Pai will be dictated by the immanent arrival of the burning/smokey season, beginning in earnest in February, when the air will be unbreatheable for a few weeks at least, if not a couple of months, and when anyone who can will leave for destinations untouched by this plague. We're planning to return to Thung Wua Laen Beach, our first extended destination in and introduction to Thailand back in the beginning of November.

Today we took step one of three steps designed to yield us a one year “retirement visa” before we leave Thailand probably toward the end of March, or possibly in April sometime. This entailed visiting the US Consulate General in Chiang Mai – our reason for being here now – and getting a sworn and notarized affidavit attesting to a qualifying level of monthly income. Tomorrow we take step two by visiting Thai immigration and presenting these documents, along with our passports and photos, signing some additional papers, and leaving with new 90 day Non Immigrant visas (as distinct from our current Tourist visas). It is these new visas that will become the foundations for the one year Retirement Extension which we will be eligible to obtain after about another 60 days. Step three of three. At that point, we will be free to come and go into and out of Thailand as we like until about May 2, 2017, before which time we would have to renew this Retirement Extension for another one year.

Why are we doing this? Because we have the idea that we will return to Thailand to spend some extended time in 2016 and 2017, and with these new visas and their extensions, we can remain virtually as long as we like, and leave and re-enter as many times as we might like during each year. If all this seems a bit complex, please be assured that it is. The Thai visa establishment is known for its labrynthine nature, and for its commitment to change and flux, so that what is true today may not be so at all next week, or next month, or next year, and in the end, it is said, and specifically stated on official websites, a lot of what happens is dependent on the immigration officer's discretion on any given day. Policies and laws are open to interpretation and local custom, so that certain locations are known to be more friendly to farang's (foreigner's) needs than others, for example. Chiang Mai is one such friendly location for Americans, we're told. We're hoping that Chumphon will be also, so that we might be able to take step three without having to return to Chiang Mai. We shall see, as we make some inquiries once we are there.

UPDATE:

Well, the labrythine nature of the Thai immigration office has indeed proven itself yet again. Maybe it isn't an accident that we happen to have our time to appear there, yesterday, on the very day that the “big boss” from Bangkok was also scheduled to appear, and in fact did appear as we were in process with one of several officers. Upon his entrance, all the officers stood ceremoniously, while he himself waved them to be seated with a smile of noblesse obilge. In any case, my particular officer was fully officious in both her appearance and her manner, in her starched uniform and full figured and equally starched presence with not a smile to be seen anywhere. In the end, we did not get the visas we had expected, but instead had our payment receipts (2000 baht each) stamped with an “application is under consideration” stamp, and were instructed to return on February 3. WHAT!?

We were confused, and of course disappointed by this. We had paid for the professional visa assist lady's help, expecting her connections in the immigration establishment to come through for us. Come back to Chiang Mai again!?

“Aimmy”, our professional helper, nee Wenika Toomkhum, later informed us that we would not have to appear in person, even though this is stated explicitly in the text of the rubber stamp, but that she would be able to bring our passports into immigration on the appointed day and get the anticipated visas for us. Many of her customers send her their passports from various cities in Thailand for this purpose, she offered. So we left Chiang Mai for Pai, and left our passports with Aimmy. The plan is that we will retrieve them from her, with our new 90 day visa stamps in them, when we next pass through Chiang Mai on our way to Chumphon, sometime in the first half of February. Hopefully her, and our expectations this next time around will be realized.