Sunday, May 15, 2016

Back In The States....For Now

OLD NEWS

We're in New York safe and sound, and a bit worse for the wear of a 16+ hour flight from Hong Kong, and about a 42 hour journey door to door from Thung Wua Laen. This is only day two of the return adventure, and of course my mom is so very happy to see us. Yesterday we started our foodie re-entrance with a stop at a local market and a $100 bill, which has fed us both for a week in Thailand,  for some of the items we've been without for the last 7 months: tahini, fresh made green juices, blueberries, rice cakes, fresh olives, avocados, pears, hummus, coconut oil, kale, etc. We're both wanting to detox from sugar and salt and whatever msg we haven't been able to "mai sai ponchoorot" our way away from, as well as load up on fresh greens and green juices for a while. This level of our time away speaks directly to our plans to return to Thung Wua Laen and rent a house with a kitchen for a longer - one year is what we're talking about - stay next time, so we can cook and control our food to a greater extent. Eating every meal out for 7 months, while it is a great luxury and a great pleasure on the one hand, is also a great bow to the whims and exigencies of a different way of being in the world.

The nearly 96 year old Mother, Mary









The Sister, Marcia


















The Brother, Bob, and his D-I-L Felicia




The S-I-L Vicky














The Cousins Maury and Randi























UPDATE
Now in Florida at MaryAnn and Dave's, where we'll be for another month. We met Saly! After a year or two of skype meetings, we at last have her in our time and place zone. If we think we're having to adjust to being back in the States, all I have to do to remind myself of relativity is to think of her experience of being here for the first time. Meeting new people, eating new foods, not speaking English much at all, dependent on Aaron in so many ways - and he's in Japan for two more weeks, having a hard time with the "cold" weather, and on and on. She so far is sweet and accommodating, cooking traditional meat or fish dishes in a vegetarian variety for me, on her best behavior no doubt what with being surrounded by Aaron's extended family of aunt and uncle and cousins and parents, and tonight, at the "party" we're having, meeting half scores of new and instantly forgettable friends.


Saly


MaryAnn and Dave leave in less than two days for their three week trip to the UK, France and Iceland. Iceland? Ask them.


Dave, MaryAnn, Saly and ???????


After a few weeks  now of non-stop activity and socializing I was able to drop into what I'm actually feeling about being back in the States, and it's sadness and grief. "I don't want to be here" is what it becomes in words. When Nancy spoke the idea many weeks ago now while we were still in Thailand of returning to TWL, making it our "base", and staying for a year, I was very happy to hear it. In that context I'm just eager to get back there, and just not looking forward to what all we need to attend to over the next 4+ months. Oh, I recognize the petulant part of me in this, but really that's not especially strong. I'm immensely grateful for what we've discovered and experienced over the last 8 months, and for what we have ahead of us. I'm just "feeling my feelings" and acknowledging my desires and preferences.

We have another month here in Florida, and then back to New Mexico, about which I'm saying pretty clearly, and Nancy is saying just a bit hesitantly, "I don't want to live in NM any more". So I believe this is our  future speaking, and for a while once we leave in the Fall, we will live perhaps a little in India and a year in Thailand. Beyond that, we're still leaving it open, but anything can happen in a year and a half.

Sell our house and land (which is what we believe we want), or "failing" that (this is all up to God, don't you know), lease it again. We need a cheap, but worthy car for three months in NM. We need to go through our two full-to-the-rafters storage units and release ourselves from possession by our stuff. We need to help Terra, to the extent that we can, get settled in San Diego this summer. We need to spend time with friends, and again with my family in New York, before we depart. We need to figure out, again, the US details of living abroad for a year or more. When I remember to say Thank You a lot none of it seems all that daunting, of course. Even in the midst of my sadness I do remember, and my gratitude and sense of humility for what is available to us continues to astound and overwhelm me. Take nothing for granted, not even the simplest of ordinary things.

In significant part it is this simplicity that I'm eager to return to, and the inherent and multi layered complexities of life in the West that I'm happy to leave behind. And the pace. My experience of being with Nancy in her daily experience of a pace and tenor of life that feels natural to her, at long last, and that feels healing and nurturing to her, is something I can't put into words. My gratitude for this cannot be measured. My delight in this cannot be spoken. Amen.