Chiang Mai - Part Three

Ugh.......I was in bed for two days with a cold, still recovering from the heavy congestion part of it, but my energy level is much better. Now Nancy is trying to avoid coming down with it.

We've been real tourists these last 8 days what with Terra here, and her agenda to see this and that and go here and there. Oh, the unheralded sacrifices parents make for their children. Really though, this is far from the sort of thing I would choose to be doing. Including the driving required. But what are you going to do?

Doi Suthep, a large temple complex up a mountain just outside of Chiang Mai, where we went yesterday, was crawling with the most people per square foot I think we've encountered anywhere thus far. This is clearly “High Season” for tourism in Thailand, and this major tourist attraction demonstrated what that might look like.

We also went to the “Sticky Waterfall”, Bua Tong, a few miles outside Chiang Mai. This is a real waterfall, but the difference here is that one can walk up it, because the rock surfaces are covered with (mostly) algae free grippy limestone deposits, which make them walkable up through the cascading downward flowing waters. Huh!? I only fell down into the water at the very top, where there are in fact algae deposits on the rocks and it is in fact slippery. Terra had no such trouble. Hmmm.

A few days earlier we went to the famous White Temple, near Chiang Rai, farther up north into Thailand and very near the Myanmar (Burmese) border. At least I didn't have to do the six hours of driving for that outing, because our new friend Barry took us all in his big Toyota Hilux truck. There were an awful lot of people there too, but the space was larger and the feeling wasn't so condensed. Barry's chief motivation was a piece of lemon meringue pie, and we had some other varieties of entirely unhealthy and of course good tasting pies. My favorite piece of this unique edifice wasn't the edifice at all, but a quiet, away from it all, garden setting Buddha-under-a-tree shrine which most visitors ignore since it's nothing dramatic or particularly uncommon in Thailand.

Today looks to be a day of rest for us all, with my favorite agenda of nowhere to go and nothing to do. Maybe tomorrow will be massage day. I know Nancy and I need one. And then we take Terra to the airport at about 4:30 for her flight back to Bangkok, and on to Tel Aviv. Happy trails, daughter.

 

Chiang Mai - Part Two

On our first full day at Happy House we walked down the lane nearby to see what we would see, and we discovered the Donchai Guesthouse And Cafe, and Nuy (or Noi), it's joint owner and chef, along with Brit husband Barry. These folks are so helpful it's almost confusing. We've enjoyed Nuy's cooking numerous times since that initial discovery, and we rented Nuy's sister Rem's car to drive up to Pai (more on that in an upcoming post). We drove with Barry to The King's Garden for a couple of hours of natural beauty and delight, 

and I've shared a few games of pool with him, my first in about 49 years I reckon. They are both helping us figure out the best way to get Nancy her letrazole, if that should be possible, through a senior nurse friend of Nuy's and transportation provided by Barry. 

Since that first day we've been back and forth about being here in the city. Bottom line is always that this isn't where we belong, and the stress of it adds up, even if it goes unnoticed. I had a scare last night when we went with Barry and Nuy to her friend's clinic to see about getting letrazole, and as part of the welcome Barry and I were offered blood pressure checks. Mine was 163 over 103, too high to be ignored, and it put me into a bit of a tailspin. There are any number of factors that could have contributed to this reading, including city stress, motorbike responsibilites, diet, and having inhaled Flonase just before leaving. In any case, I decided to go to a local hospital today to see what was up. Within about 10 minutes I was registered and had my blood pressure checked, and it was fine, at 131 over 83, which is the kind of reading I normally get at home on Cerro Chato. Any time I'm in the neighborhood, please come in and have it checked again. Cost? Zero. From there we went to a recommended local pharmacy where I stocked up on my blood pressure meds. About $8.50 for a month's supply. 

We hired Nuy's friend Ray to take us by tuk tuk on this excursion into town, and the relief of that was palpable for me. With Terra arriving tonight, and with plans to see this and that around the city, I guess Ray's tuk tuk will be getting some business in the next few days. An added expense, certainly, but right now it feels to me that reducing my stress level is the important issue, and this will help do that.

Ahhhhhh............

Pai (part one).

We decided to rent a car and drive up into the mountains northwest of Chiang Mai to a little town called Pai (pronounced “pie”), because this place had been strongly recommended to us by more than one person who had some sense of who we are, and because we knew that Chiang Mai couldn't satisfy us, and it would be necessary to explore other parts of northern Thailand. One characteristic theme here, as in other tropical locations, for those who can, is to get out of the tropical heat during certain parts of the year and get up into the mountains where it is cooler and considered more pleasant. But more importantly for us, after being in Chiang Mai and experiencing the big city energy that this place is all about, we needed to get out. Many people love Chiang Mai of course, and God bless them for it. We're not among that group, and will always need to seek out the more rural areas of wherever we may be. Hence, Pai. But Pai specifically, not only for its rural location, but because it is small, has become a haven for healthy food, has some infrastructure that Westerners appreciate even though it is clearly still Thai, and of course still Thailand, and has the alternative/consciousness/hippy vibe that we enjoy anywhere we may be. It is a tourist destination for sure, including many young Western backpackers, and also many and more and more Chinese tourists, but this phenomenon is largely located on the “downtown” streets, or really even on one particular market street, of Pai, and can be left behind within a few minute walk from there.

Within 5 minutes of checking into our room at the Pai Laguna Hotel, from the balcony looking out onto the mountains and the figure of the enormous white Buddha up there, I was breathing the breath of true arrival, and feeling a deep gratitude and a welling up of tearful emotion. I was home again. Ahhhhhhh. Vimeo video link

I knew that I could stay right there, in that room, for an extended period of time. It wouldn't even be necessary to go looking for a different accommodation. I was where I needed to be. Amen. Now Nancy on the other hand needed to transition more gradually, and it took a day or so, and some sitting practice, for her to realize and agree that this was a place she wanted to be also. She actually said "I think I'm starting to love Thailand". We've already put down a substantial deposit on a room for the month of January, and will be returning there around the 4^th, we think, after our visit with Terra here in Chiang Mai in the last days of December, and after the passing of the New Year transition.
I'm eager to return.

Mor Paeng Waterfall vimeo video link

  

Chiang Mai - Part One

Chiang Mai.

Well, this is the second biggest city in Thailand, after Bangkok, and even though we're staying about 20 minutes by motorbike outside of the downtown moated Old City, the city's energy is all around, in the rush of things, in the intensity, in the air. Fortunately we're staying in a sort of suburb where it's pretty quiet. The sounds we hear are some traffic noises, but nothing like in the city proper, an occasional airplane (the airport isn't all that far away), roosters crowing at any time – I believe the idea that roosters crow only at the break of dawn is entirely inaccurate, certainly in Pa Daet Village, Thailand – and neighbor noises of various kinds.

Here's what we know already, and not surprisingly: we wouldn't stay in, or even near, Chiang Mai proper for any appreciable time in the future. It's the city/country theme that has re-appeared for us in Thailand a number of times now. Apparently one has to go to Chiang Mai at least once so as to definitively eliminate it from consideration as a place to live for a while.

The Happy House Hotel, where we are staying for the month, is a very nice, new, clean, friendly and simple place run by wife/husband team Kwan, who is Thai, and Alex, who is a French expat. Kwan and I have talked about spending an hour a day together so that she can help me learn some Thai, and I can help her improve her English pronunciation. She speaks English quite well in fact, but because she says she wants to get her license to run tours, she also wants to be able to articulate her English words more precisely (“paper”; “pepper”; “purple”). We tried this once, and ended up spending maybe two hours, eventually with other people involved, and didn't really teach each other anything much, except that I learned more about her life. Subsequently, it's been entirely informal conversation with no particular emphsis on learning anything. She also led the way for Nancy and I one evening as we motorbiked to one of the moving local nightly markets to buy food for dinner. We even found some home made raisin bread and some banana bread desert sticks. Yum.

Speaking of motorbiking, this is the way one gets around here, for the most part, or by car. We're renting a bike for the month from Alex and Kwan, and I've become more proficient at its use, including, necessarily, riding into the city center, or along the highways to go shopping or just to get gas (not a frequent need!). Nancy is entirely unenthusiastic about this mode of transport, but really there is nothing in the way of practical, ie., economic on a repeated or routine basis, regular alternatives. We rode into heavy traffic a couple of days ago because she wanted to shop for a pair of shoes at one of the huge mega stores a la Walmart Superstore, called Tesco Lotus, and this experience pretty much scared the shite out of her. We've also ridden into the city center along a relatively quieter route, and this was somewhat less traumatizing for her, but still difficult. While I can't say I enjoy these rides, I am able - in both a “get the job done” sort of way, and because, being from New York, I can easily elicit my aggressive and determined inner, and outer, driver - to do what needs doing without freaking out about it. Nancy does mantra all the way, and I begin each trip with a “By Your grace, my Lord”.

Haiku Cha Am

Settling in here

lazy beachside bliss       

feet sink in wet sand

Thailand happiness  

                                        

                                                  

                           

Where is happiness?

somewhere  inside my big heart

elements aligned

your smile        my love         now

So much space and time

who could imagine this gift?                              

I watch a red ant

searching for more crumbs                              

Morning wake-up call

anthem blares to king and queen

Thailand devotion

soi dogs howl happy

Cha Am "Father's Day" Holiday Beach

This past extended weekend of December 4-7 was the holiday of the King's Birthday and Father's Day, which unlike in the States, does not refer to one's own father, but to the Father of all Thai's - The King, Bhumibol Adulyadej, King Rama IX  He's 88 years old now and sick, and everyone wonders who will succeed him, but more than that, he is revered by Thai people as a benevolent king who has done good things for his subjects during his long, nearly 70 year,  reign, and is universally regarded as "dad", just as his wife, also old and not well, the Queen Consort, Sirikit Kitiyakara is regarded as "mom".

The king's color is yellow, and for the past couple of weeks or so we have seen many people wearing, and shops selling yellow pullover shirts emblazoned on the front with the logo "Do It For Dad", referring to the annual bike rally that will take place shortly in his honor, and maybe to raise money for something or other - I confess I'm not certain about that, and on the back with a bicycle image of some kind.

As such, this long weekend is a major get-a-way to the beach time for many Thai's, and Cha Am is the beach many Bangkok Thai's get away to. Here are some images from Sunday the 6th of December on an afternoon section of beach in Cha Am:
                                                                                                 

                                                                                                                                                                                        

 

Cha Am - Part Two

Well we've been in Cha Am for exactly two weeks now, with another 3 days to go, and guess what? I'm learning the same lesson again that I've been learning throughout our journey: it really requires a full two weeks in a new location to get a more realistic, or more balanced, or more integrated experience of how to relate with it. First impressions are not necessarily to be considered final.

 

So in my last post I gave Cha Am a big “Nah” regarding the likelihood of returning here to spend any extended time. Too big. An actual city. We're country people after all. I don't remember if I'd even discovered the beach by then. Now, I'm ready to change my rating of Cha Am to a “Yeh. I could spend a month here”. And when I say I “could” spend a month here I don't mean “could” as in “under duress”, or as in “if I had to”. I could spend a month here and enjoy it.  And after our outing today with JC showing us some rental options for a month or more, Nancy feels the same way.  

Why is this? What I'm finding is that it just takes some time to experience enough of a new place in a new country to be able to track that experience sufficiently to see how it's going to move. You could say something like: You just have to give it a chance to reveal itself to you in ways that are more comprehensive. And.......................this simply, and naturally, takes some time. Duh.

Whatever disorientation may be expressed in an initial response may very well be ameliorated after getting one's sea legs. That's been my experience now at both Thung Wua Laen Beach and in Cha Am.  I'm getting the message. And this leads to another, and important understanding: it's not a very good idea, at least for me (and I'm convinced that this is true for “us” as well) to plan many visits to many countries, or to many places within a country, in anything less than months of time. Which is of course how we have structured our journey. Slow travel. We did this intuitively and intentionally, informed by my concerted months of research prior to our departure. Unless one simply wishes to skim the surface of one's experience and see as many sights as one can see and eat from as many different cuisines as one can eat from and chalk up travel merit badges to show off and be able to say “Oh, I've been to.................”, taking one's time is, I declare, now that I'm an expert at this sort of thing, essential.

What has changed about Cha Am then? Well nothing has changed about Cha Am, of course. What has changed is my experience of Cha Am. We've thoroughly enjoyed discovering our favorite section of mostly quiet and expansive beach at the north end of town, where we tend to go in the late afternoons, and rent two beach chairs and multiple umbrellas to shade us from the heat – two dollars for the both of us – and lounge there for a couple of hours or so as dusk approaches and whatever people there may be there tend to leave. This is my favorite time to be at the beach, as the day's light shifts and fades and the air cools down some, and we may be treated to a gorgeous orange sunset through cloud mottled skies.

We've also discovered here my personal favorite restaurant in Cha Am, where Nancy was immediately successful in communicating our vegetarian (“jay”) needs, and where the results have been the best so far in Thailand: a  luscious green curry with heaps of actual vegetables (“pak”), rather than the more typical and paltry results we've had so far of cut scallions and mung bean sprouts; or a “vegetable salad” made from what I believe is pounded papaya strips and some other unidentified ingredients, heaped and dressed with an also unidentified and delicious mixture of liquids; or a plate of stir fried mixed vegetables that is an actual combination of multiple mixed vegetables, and again delicious. And all of this will be delivered to us on the beach at our lounging location by one of the cooks on his motorbike with our tray of delights held aloft in one hand while the other steers and accelerates and brakes as needed. A small miracle.

We've discovered our favorite place to get afternoon coconuts (“makprow”) for the sweet and, according to Nancy's investigations, health giving nectar, as well as the scoop-able meat within the recesses of the hard protective shell. We've discovered Forest Park a short ride from where we stay, where black and blond gibbons swing and play in the trees (Vimeo video link) or lay about grooming one another (Vimeo video link), and where, if one is seeking real quiet in this city, this is where it will be. We found a hillside temple and, I'm told, nunnery, also a short ride from our guesthouse, with meditation caves and a hundred marble steps up the hill to get you to them, and elaborate Thai sculptures and statues of Buddhas and protectors and saints, and cactus! Growing here, in the tropics, in the forest. What!?

 

Or I've discovered my favorite place to hang out in the mornings, near the beach, and sip tea or drink coconut milk which I buy from the mobile coconut lady with whom I now have some recognizable relationship, and read, or just watch the world go by, while Nancy is doing her practice or writing for her flower essence certification.

Or we were invited by Puh, the lovely woman who cleans the rooms at the Blue Lagoon, to attend the birthday party downstairs in the bar for her 70 year old Swedish(?) husband, where we shared in some food and drink there with a couple of expat Brits who gave us their somewhat cynical and bigoted worldview of life back home and a specific bit of education about their relationships with their Thai partners who won't allow them to do anything around the house, even if they want to.

And yesterday we met with American expat Mike Murphy and his fiancee Nuch (pronounced something like “Noosh”), and spent several hours talking and listening and getting to know them, and what a delightful and interesting and generous and gifted and – the clincher – like minded couple of people they are. Well, I can only assume the like mindedness regarding Nuch, since her English is perhaps not so strong as to be able to communicate in this realm. But her kindness and generosity are apparent with her fairly well developed English, and her clearly well developed heart, and she has already offered to put it out on the "coconut grapevine" if we wanted to come back and spend a month or more, and find us a nice place at a much reduced price through her connections and community here.

In other words, we've been here a little while, and have been able to take our time, and begin to settle in to some familiarity, and to find the kinds of things we want and which we enjoy and which serve our needs. These things aren't immediately apparent. And they aren't presented to you immediately. One has to go after them. One needs the time to do that, to be gifted by the discovery or the appearance or the development of the small things that make up a daily life, and to adjust to and adapt to this place, and to meet it on its own terms.  As it is everywhere, this is the way it's done.

Cha Am, Thailand

Cha Am. Blue Lagoon Guest House And Bar (happily, for us, doing no bar business). Off a main road, in a little “soi”, or alley/street. Picked up at Hua Hin train station at about 4:45 PM by Stu, Brit manager of the guest house, which I believe is owned by his (Thai) girlfriend?, who also owns and runs a little open air eatery a few blocks away, where we ate dinner on day one, located precisely between two soi's that are – TADAH! - the girlie bar district of Cha Am. Nancy gawked at the Lady Boy and Bar Girl young workers getting ready for the evening's business, primping, posturing and dressing, essentially in public, in the open store front bars on either side of our meal. While I ate my meal of rice and vegetables followed by noodle soup, little did I know that Nancy was quietly freaking out at the intensity of where we had just landed, versus where we had just been. It wouldn't be til the next morning that this distress became apparent and named, leading to a change of future plans for Chiang Mai among other things.

Now getting our bearings, had a good Indian lunch yesterday to help settle things, commited ourselves to honoring the rural, natural settings we need, access to a city ok, but not for staying in. Duh. It becomes, apparently, easy to forget where we have lived for the last quarter century, and why we have lived there, and who we are and what we need and want. A bit of culture shock coming from the idyllic rural beach village into the decadent city sex work scene. But I didn't realize that Cha Am was a city, did I?

Yesterday we met with the man himself, JC, originator and perpetuator of the Retire Cheap dot Asia website and Youtube video impressario, and, legitimately, THE guru regarding living in and retiring inThailand from every angle a Westerner would care about or need to know about. I've been watching his regularly updated videos for 7 months, participating in the forum on his member website, and garnering oodles of information – some of it misunderstood due to my own preconceptions and reference points – in prepartion for our travels. JC now lives in Cha Am, having lived in various places as a full time expat in Thailand for 16 years. He is generous with his time and help, especially with members of his site, and we met with him and his Thai wife Nat over coffee and tea for three hours, and talked about an array of subjects, sharing ideas and experiences, all in some direct or indirect way related to living in Thailand. Nancy and I both enjoyed this time very much, as JC is, after all, a great and thoughtful guy, and is accessible, and is a storehouse of pertinent information.

Next day was a busy and eventful one. I got a motorbike, and guess what? I'm liberated! Well, in terms of being able to get farther than a few blocks from our guesthouse. Of course I've gone through a number of reservations about safety – gear, or the lack of it; city traffic; driving on the “wrong”, ie., the left side of the road, etc. I guess though that we're in it now, and the intention is to stay in, within the limts that I can or will be comfortable with. But just riding up and down the beach front road this morning was a revelation: I discovered the beach! There's actually a real beach here in Cha Am, with, in some areas, a couple hundred feet of sand, rather than the barely walkable, rock blocked little non-beach “beach” near our digs. This has opened up an entirely new realm of appreciation for what I was almost ready to dismiss as pretty lame.


Nancy and I had lunch with Scott, from Southern California, and Mike, formerly from Tennessee and DC, and JC, and Nat, and Nat's stunningly beautiful and delightful 9 year old (?) daughter Da Noi

(meaning “small eyes”, which to my eyes, she doesn't really have). Another meeting up with some great people who all have at least one considerable thing in common: a lot or a little to do with Thailand.

So let's have a look at our responses so far to Thailand.

First reaction: this can't work; we can't even eat the food; the food thing could be a deal breaker.

Next reactions: settling into the Albatross at Thang Wua Laen Beach, and developing ways to eat the local food, we feel more hopeful about being able to spend time here.

By the end of two weeks here, we have met some wonderful people, enjoyed the small jungle village vibe, have begun thinking about spending more time here in the future, and feel some sorrow at leaving.

Cha Am: first impressions move on a spectrum from too big a city (unexpectedly) to Nancy's initial active distress at our neighborhood, to disappointment at the non-beach beach near our guesthouse, to working with the food issues more skillfully, to “nah”, we wouldn't come back here, to expanding our possibilites with a motorbike, to complete unimpressedness with the “big” Wednesday night market – just an ourdoor mini department store from which we need nothing.

To Date: Thailand so far is a very mixed bag for us. Not the “heart home” at all that India is for Nancy certainly, and in its way for me too. Neither of us is experiencing any particularly noticeable, ie. felt, spirituality here that we resonate with. The food in general is unhealthy, despite its reputation in the West as amazingly delicious – way to much sugar in almost everything; too much salt; white rice and white noodles; way too much fish and meat and way too little vegetables; and even in the relatively expensive farang restaurants, very little in the way of options: um........more rice or noodles, or eggs or meat or fish or white bread. White is King here in Thailand.

I suspect that in the end, the food issues may indeed be a deal breaker for us when it comes to spending extended periods of time here, unless we could settle into a place of our own outside of town and prepare our own food with expensive supplies that can be had only in a place like Chiang Mai, inside of which we clearly won't want to live, but outside of which (we had reiterated again today by a lovely LA woman who's been in Thailand for two years now teaching Bible stuff a la Jehova's Witnesses), which is extremely beautiful, perhaps. She encouraged us to not miss going to the north.

Today we each had a Thai foot massage (wonderful, of course, and about 7 bucks each including a nice tip for each masseuse), and we indulged ourselves with scones and spinach “pies” to celebrate Thanksgiving. It feels like we're biding our time here, although we haven't yet ridden out to explore the surrounding areas. Ah. There's a difference. In India, or at Thang Wua Laen, it felt like we didn't have to go anywhere to eplore anything. Just being there was it. Here, in Cha Am, it feels like we have to “go exploring” in order to maybe find something we might be moved by. Overall Cha Am still gets a big “Nah”on the “would you return there to spend more time” scale. Live and learn.