Oh Boy..................!!!!!

To say that I was excited about our imminent departure - we left my mom's at 6:30 in the evening, en route to JFK - would clearly be an understatement. In fact I had anticipated this day with such gusto that I was a little afraid that I'd be disappointed with the reality of getting on our way, or with the reality of getting to India and to Sherabling, or with the whole journey. It's a bit paranoid, I know, but........

It was a very different week here at mom's this time around. Most different was the fact that there was no big family gathering as there has always been. This made it necessary to arrange to see people more individually, or more independently. And so we did, which took a lot more time and energy and made the week seem a lot more busy than we've grown accustomed to our visits being. Arriving Saturday night, we went Sunday to see cousins Ann and Mel Weintraub, graciously transported by their daughter Randy. Ann and Mel are mom's contemporaries, and Randy is my younger brother Bob's contemporary, so Nancy and I are in the middle somewhere in all that.

Cousins Maury and Randy

This was a delightful visit really, with an elaborate spread of finger foods which none of us could dream of finishing, conversation about our travels and adventures, a tour of Mel's somewhat extensive art collection, of which he is very proud and the contemplation of which, he says, is most relaxing for him. Before we knew it several hours had passed, for which I offer genuine thanks to Ann and Mel, as neither of them are in especially good health, and their effort and welcome on our behalf is not taken for granted.

Monday evening we welcomed Maury and Hedy to my mother's, and afterward went out with them for a nice  local Italian dinner. Maury is my first cousin, son of my father's sister, with whom I spent some regular time when we were both young (we're only six months apart in age). His family and my grandmother lived in the same apartment building in the Bronx, and my father would regularly take us to visit. We lost contact as we grew up, became young adults, then adults, and went our very different ways in the world. For some reason - I can't say precisely why, other than that some light of family connection had been stimulated - I made it a point to contact him while we were still in New Mexico, and to set up this dinner outing. We've never, in all of our lives, done this before, and I was frankly uncertain what to expect of such an intimate time together.

Hedy

Well, again, before we knew it some hours had passed in conversation, we got to know each other in new and congenial and more like  minded ways than I might have thought, and it was time to say farewell. I do believe - and Maury commented on this as well, when he pointed out that, although we have not been in close proximity through the years,  or spent any time together really, there has always been a connection - a new possibility of relationship has been ignited, and we enthusiastically invited them, if it is possible, to come join us for a vacation in Thailand next Spring.

Sister Marcia

 On Tuesday sister Marcia came from New Jersey, and we visited and went with mom to a local Chinese restaurant for lunch (disappointing food). I'm especially glad that we got to talk with her, since mom had shared some presumably current and distressing information with us about my niece, Marcia's daughter, which turned out to be highly exaggerated and inaccurate. Marcia was able to relieve this distress by setting the record more happily straight. Mahh-ahhhhhm??!!

Mother Mary

Brother Bob and his pregnant D-I-L Felicia

Baby Autumn

And then on Wednesday evening the "clan" - my brother Bob and some of his many descendants (he's twelve years younger than I am, and has now 7 grand children by only two of his six children!), including son Alex and his 4 daughters and spouse Felicia; son Ben; and daughter Hannah - tumbled in for dinner and time together. I have to acknowledge my mother's efforts to stay awake and reasonably present with all this night time activity in her small apartment, which, although of course she loves in one way, she is also deeply taxed by as well. Again a lovely visit, perhaps the highlight of which was getting to hold.....and hold and hold.....3 week old and as yet still tiny Autumn, the newest astounding arrival.


On Thursday we decided to take a long walk over to Whole Foods and back - about 5 miles round trip, through downtown White Plains. Nancy wanted to get some umeboshi paste to bring with her on our trip. On the way back we had another very pleasant surprise to encounter a bit of a street farmer's market, and a good New York live band playing some funk/jazz/soul/blues to promote a week long jazz festival in town. I even got to dancin' in the street - and can you believe it!? I was the only one!
Vimeo Video Link Music in the Streets


On Saturday we had a lovely Fall walk over to the White Plains commuter train station on the Metro North Line of the New York Metropolitan Transportation Authority, and took the local train into the Bronx and the NY Botanical Garden stop, where we met dear friend Ellen Katzman coming up from lower Manhattan. We spent a couple of hours walking through the garden grounds, eating and talking, getting our now traditional (Ellen officiated last year as well) send off from our official New York City representative. A beautiful Autumn day in the city, a warm and wonderful visit with Ellen, and a comfortable ride in and back to White Plains and mom's Hartsdale condo.

Ellen and............???

And then Sunday........................... and departure day. And now we're here.

Sad News On The Almost-Eve Of Departure

Oh..........................................sigh....................................breath..............

Nancy and I learned yesterday morning that Aaron and Saly have experienced a miscarriage of their first pregnancy. They were lying with each other, crying, feeling the great loss, after having been to the hospital during the previous night, and Nancy and I joined them by phone in experiencing the same.

The fetus had apparently died at about six weeks, maybe five weeks ago. There was no heartbeat to be found, part of the placenta had pulled off the uterine wall, and now they wait for it to pass naturally. If this does not happen within two days or so, they say, Saly will need to undergo a DNC to remove it surgically.

Please hold us all, including the being who has moved on already, in your prayers at this time of our family's grieving.

We Will Be Nomads

It's Friday the 9th of September, 2016, and exactly one week from today we will leave Cerro Chato and Grateful Way, and begin what I am now calling our nomad-ness for the next year (at least), assuming all goes well with our tenants and the house and our health and our children and my mom, etc.

It dawned on me just a couple of days ago that, ah.............this is in fact what we're getting ourselves up to: we will be nomads. This in contrast to our original plan to "settle in" to Thailand for a year. When this plan got changed, I was adrift and unsettled for a while, "edgy" as Nancy might call it, and I realized that this was because I no longer had an image of what we were doing; or an identity within such an image. If we weren't going to "live" in Thailand, what were we going to be doing? Well, now I understand what we're going to do in a way that makes sense to me, and that gives me a new identity. We're not going to be "temporary expats"; we're going to be worldly nomads, spending a bit of time here, and a bit of time there, and coming back to the States for a bit next April, and then probably returning to Asia for another bit, and so on, at least until it becomes clear what will happen next with our house: will our tenants decide they want to buy it? or continue to lease it after their year long current lease? or neither?

It's striking how simply being able to name and identify accurately what we're up to provided immediate relief and comfort, where there had been confusion and anxiety and uncertainty. To put it crudely, if we weren't going to carry out our original, eagerly anticipated plan, what the fuck were we going to be doing!

This what the fuck-ness was laden with a particular and specific kind of vagueness and lack of clarity that I didn't find appealing at all. I needed to have a name, or a clearer concept for what we now were doing. After all, it is still a big deal, renting out your house (and effectively making yourself "homeless"), packing and off-loading gobs of worldly possessions, saying goodbyes to dear friends, buying air tickets and coordinating travel plans across the globe, dealing with seemingly endless details and requirements in every realm of one's existence. To be doing all this without knowing what the context now was, well, that wasn't working for me.

I hadn't thought of being a nomad. I never identified with this image or idea, so much as I did with exploring around with the definitive idea of finding a place where we'd like to stay. Well, we'll be staying for a while, but then roaming off, and then roaming off again. This is very different from staying somewhere longer term. At least to me it is. So I now have a new identity that I wasn't looking for, and didn't want, really, but which I am now beginning to feel excited about nonetheless.
A new, and different, adventure awaits. I'll keep you posted.