It's Friday the 9th of September, 2016, and exactly one week from today we will leave Cerro Chato and Grateful Way, and begin what I am now calling our nomad-ness for the next year (at least), assuming all goes well with our tenants and the house and our health and our children and my mom, etc.
It dawned on me just a couple of days ago that, ah.............this is in fact what we're getting ourselves up to: we will be nomads. This in contrast to our original plan to "settle in" to Thailand for a year. When this plan got changed, I was adrift and unsettled for a while, "edgy" as Nancy might call it, and I realized that this was because I no longer had an image of what we were doing; or an identity within such an image. If we weren't going to "live" in Thailand, what were we going to be doing? Well, now I understand what we're going to do in a way that makes sense to me, and that gives me a new identity. We're not going to be "temporary expats"; we're going to be worldly nomads, spending a bit of time here, and a bit of time there, and coming back to the States for a bit next April, and then probably returning to Asia for another bit, and so on, at least until it becomes clear what will happen next with our house: will our tenants decide they want to buy it? or continue to lease it after their year long current lease? or neither?
It's striking how simply being able to name and identify accurately what we're up to provided immediate relief and comfort, where there had been confusion and anxiety and uncertainty. To put it crudely, if we weren't going to carry out our original, eagerly anticipated plan, what the fuck were we going to be doing!
This what the fuck-ness was laden with a particular and specific kind of vagueness and lack of clarity that I didn't find appealing at all. I needed to have a name, or a clearer concept for what we now were doing. After all, it is still a big deal, renting out your house (and effectively making yourself "homeless"), packing and off-loading gobs of worldly possessions, saying goodbyes to dear friends, buying air tickets and coordinating travel plans across the globe, dealing with seemingly endless details and requirements in every realm of one's existence. To be doing all this without knowing what the context now was, well, that wasn't working for me.
I hadn't thought of being a nomad. I never identified with this image or idea, so much as I did with exploring around with the definitive idea of finding a place where we'd like to stay. Well, we'll be staying for a while, but then roaming off, and then roaming off again. This is very different from staying somewhere longer term. At least to me it is. So I now have a new identity that I wasn't looking for, and didn't want, really, but which I am now beginning to feel excited about nonetheless.
A new, and different, adventure awaits. I'll keep you posted.
It dawned on me just a couple of days ago that, ah.............this is in fact what we're getting ourselves up to: we will be nomads. This in contrast to our original plan to "settle in" to Thailand for a year. When this plan got changed, I was adrift and unsettled for a while, "edgy" as Nancy might call it, and I realized that this was because I no longer had an image of what we were doing; or an identity within such an image. If we weren't going to "live" in Thailand, what were we going to be doing? Well, now I understand what we're going to do in a way that makes sense to me, and that gives me a new identity. We're not going to be "temporary expats"; we're going to be worldly nomads, spending a bit of time here, and a bit of time there, and coming back to the States for a bit next April, and then probably returning to Asia for another bit, and so on, at least until it becomes clear what will happen next with our house: will our tenants decide they want to buy it? or continue to lease it after their year long current lease? or neither?
It's striking how simply being able to name and identify accurately what we're up to provided immediate relief and comfort, where there had been confusion and anxiety and uncertainty. To put it crudely, if we weren't going to carry out our original, eagerly anticipated plan, what the fuck were we going to be doing!
This what the fuck-ness was laden with a particular and specific kind of vagueness and lack of clarity that I didn't find appealing at all. I needed to have a name, or a clearer concept for what we now were doing. After all, it is still a big deal, renting out your house (and effectively making yourself "homeless"), packing and off-loading gobs of worldly possessions, saying goodbyes to dear friends, buying air tickets and coordinating travel plans across the globe, dealing with seemingly endless details and requirements in every realm of one's existence. To be doing all this without knowing what the context now was, well, that wasn't working for me.
I hadn't thought of being a nomad. I never identified with this image or idea, so much as I did with exploring around with the definitive idea of finding a place where we'd like to stay. Well, we'll be staying for a while, but then roaming off, and then roaming off again. This is very different from staying somewhere longer term. At least to me it is. So I now have a new identity that I wasn't looking for, and didn't want, really, but which I am now beginning to feel excited about nonetheless.
A new, and different, adventure awaits. I'll keep you posted.
Your journey sounds very exciting and whimsical. You both are very brave. Hats off to you. More important, however, we are so very honored that your kickoff included us as part of the send off. Travel safe, stay safe and enjoy! H & M
ReplyDeleteA great pleasure to spend time with you two. Many thanks for the good wishes. We hope to see you again "soon". Be well. M and N.
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